Saturday, August 12, 2017

Why I like Bondage

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Ever since I was a kid I always knew I liked guys tied up. Big strong masculine men helplessly restrained like a sexy toy just waiting to be used. It was the hottest thing ever and nothing else moved me quite like it.

But I didn't understand why. And you can imagine how it made me feel different compared to the other boys. Not only was I attracted to my own gender---I also fantasized them all bound up.

The fear of being called a freak ruled my life for years to come---why was my sexuality so different? Why couldn't I just choose to obsess over girls like my peers in a normal fashion? I began to look inwards to find my answers. If I could understand why... then perhaps I wouldn't feel like a freak.

I learned fairly quick that "being gay" was normal and lots of people are born with different sexual orientations. Though a minority, it was in no way strange.

But that still didn't explain my fixation on bondage. After all, there's no such thing as a "fetish gene." A fetish is born from events in your life. So for me to develop a bondage fetish so young, it had to be something that happened during those early years---more specifically, at school. And the more I followed that path of thought, the more things began to make sense.

What shaped my sexuality was the way I interacted with the gender I was attracted to. The other boys constantly bullied me in their need to assert their primitive dominance as the tougher "alpha males." And I begin to fantasize of a scenario where I could sexually dominate them in an equal manner.

The classic fantasy of "Role reversal," where you swap roles so that the submissive partner becomes the dominant partner and vice versa. A means to make you feel empowered by being in charge of someone more dominant and stronger than yourself. And bondage is the perfect medium to explore such a fantasy.

But... I never felt like I was weak or submissive in the first place. Part of the reason I got bullied was because I always fought back. I never accepted the submissive position they tried to force on me.

Instead, it was the power dynamic between males. I both identified as a dominant male and was attracted to other dominant males. But that scenario proposed a conflict since dominating requires a partner to submit, and you'd just get two males fighting to force the other into submission.

Finally I had found my answer as to why I like bondage. It turns the required power exchange for dominance into a physical external object---a restraint---and allows you to attach it to another dominant partner, stealing away control of his body. He wouldn't be taking orders or bending over like a submissive partner and he could be in a submissive position without betraying his dominant identity.

And his struggle resembles the conflict of trying to be dominant in a submissive position. It even excites him, the physical sensation of putting all his muscles to work in a sexual situation... fighting for his very sex.

Sometimes he even gets so lost in the lust of it all that he forgets to be dominant and finds pleasure in a situation he never thought he'd enjoy.

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